Interestingly enough, the idea of normal really changes in my mind.
When I was losing weight, it was normal to be on the diet of a healthy lifestyle and being very careful of what I ate.
Being in maintenance is harder than being in the losing phase. Everyone knows that! (Except the people in the losing phase who feel like losing it is the hardest. ha ha!)
But as the months go by, I find a couple of pounds up becomes the new normal. And the “scream weight” amount goes higher.
This past year, I have not been lower than 153. And a couple of years ago 151 was my absolute highest.
Today I did a really weird thing. Woke up early (4:50 am – also known as on time) and got into my exercise clothes. Drove over to the gym, but didn’t turn in. Drove home. So what is that about? What’s holding me back? Why am I feeling so reluctant?
I love going to do the workout. The music, the sweating, the instructor, the people. Why do I keep thinking it’s too hard. I’m too heavy to do this. I’m too old. I’ll get hurt. What’s going on with me?
I think what’s bugging me is my birthday next week. The number 59 is in my head. Today it’s feeling too old to do the jumping around of the class. But there are people older than that in the class. And I’m never going to be younger than this again.
I promised myself I would go running later this morning after the sun comes up. Still 30 more minutes.
Gotta get my head in a better place. Losing a couple pounds is a great start.